A kind heart brings joy

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Everyone feels accepted when they are treated kindly and with respect. This kindness builds and strengthens relationships. Therefore, it is very important to understand this principle and act accordingly.

To begin, I would like to tell the story of my mother, which clearly demonstrates how much a kind word can uplift someone.

My mother married at 19 and, after her wedding, lived with my father, his mother, and his grandparents in a small, two-room house. Every year, the family grew by one child. The lack of peace and privacy made the situation very stressful. My mother often reached her breaking point, which led her to despair. She often thought about her mother's warnings that life after marriage would be very difficult. However, she had entered into marriage with the confidence that she was doing good and pleasing the Lord.

At the time, she had no idea what was truly in store for her. My father's grandparents were very demanding and required a lot of attention. My father, however, was very good at defusing situations and tried daily to maintain peace in the family with kind and encouraging words. This gave my mother the strength to carry out her daily tasks and to remain cheerful at all times. Thus, a kind word made the impossible possible.

The Apostle Peter writes in his letter: “ For whoever loves life and desires to see good days must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from speaking deceit. They must turn from evil and do good; they must seek peace and pursue it” (1 Peter 3:10-11). Human beings were created by God with the wonderful ability to express their thoughts and feelings in words. When God placed humankind in the Garden of Eden, God visited them and spoke with them. God gave us tongues and lips so that we could communicate with one another through words. With our words, we influence our lives on earth and also in heaven. “ For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned” (Matthew 12:37).

Peter tells us in Scripture that we should guard our tongue and our lips if we want to live long and see good days. And who doesn't? Often, however, life is made difficult by the misuse of the tongue. Peter also gives us instructions on how men and women should treat each other: " Husbands, be equally considerate of your wives, who are the weaker of the two, and honor her, since you are heirs together of the grace of life" (1 Peter 3:7).

So how can we honor our wives? By cherishing them! When we speak well of our wives, we want others, especially our children, to hear it. It is particularly important for children to hear their father speak well of their mother so that they learn to respect her. “ Her sons grow up and call her blessed; her husband also praises her” (Proverbs 31:28).

In the Bible we read how God created Eve and how He brought her to Adam. Adam rejoiced, saying, “ This is finally bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh! She shall be called ‘woman,’ for out of man she was taken” (Genesis 2:23).

Dear wives, “ your adornment should not be external, such as braiding the hair and wearing gold jewelry or clothing, but the hidden person of the heart, in the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in God’s sight” (1 Peter 3:3-4).

How did Eve express her feelings after being brought to Adam, in contrast to Adam? She didn't say, " Darling, we are equals" or "I have my own opinion too ," but she remained silent. Here we see perfect surrender and agreement with God's will.

To better illustrate this, I would like to offer an example. At some weddings, the father escorts the bride to the groom. This is done reverently, without words, yet it is so clear. It would be good if this image of complete surrender and submission were always before our eyes, for it also corresponds to God's thought. " Do not be hasty with your mouth, and do not let your heart utter rash words before God, for God is in heaven and you are on earth; therefore do not use many words" (Ecclesiastes 5:1).

The Apostle James writes: “The tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things” (James 3:5). It is extremely important to tame and control our tongues so that our words have a healing rather than a hurtful effect. The Apostle Paul emphasizes this important principle in his letter to the Colossians: “ Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone” (Colossians 4:6). Words can both hurt and destroy, as well as uplift and build up. Unfortunately, we speak far too often before we think, and then regret it afterward. So, if we think before we speak, we can season our words with salt. To illustrate this idea, let's look at situations from the Bible.

Example 1:

When David was being pursued by King Saul, he and his men were in dire need due to a lack of food. David heard that a rich man named Nabal lived in the area. He sent his men to him to ask for provisions. Beforehand, however, he considered his request carefully and " seasoned " it. He sent his messengers with the following words:

“ Go up to Carmel; and when you come to Nabal, greet him kindly in my name and say, ‘Long live your life! Peace be with you, and peace be with your household, and peace be with all that you have! I just heard that you have shearers with you. Now, your shepherds were with us; we did them no harm, nor did they lack anything while they were in Carmel. Ask your servants about this, and they will tell you. May my servants find favor in your eyes, for we came on a good day. Give to your servants and to your son David whatever your hand can find.” (1 Samuel 25:5-8)

When Nabal heard these words, he reacted rudely, recklessly, and provocatively: “ Who is David? And who is Jesse’s son? Nowadays there are more and more servants who run away from their masters! Should I take my bread and my water and my meat that I slaughtered for my shearers and give it to people whose origin I do not know?” (1 Samuel 25:10-11).

When the messengers delivered Nabal's reply to David, Nabal became angry and declared war on him. Fortunately, Abigail, Nabal's wife, was wise. When she heard how Nabal had treated David's men, she immediately knew how David would react. So she gathered some provisions and went to meet David.

Meanwhile, she pondered how she should address David and how she would " season " her words. With a " seasoned " speech, Abigail finally succeeded in appeasing David and thus saving her house. King David replied to her: " Blessed be the Lord, the God of Israel, who has sent you to meet me this day! Blessed be your understanding, and blessed be you, that you have kept me today from incurring bloodshed and from saving me with my own hand!" (1 Samuel 25:32-33).

This incident clearly and impressively demonstrates the power that words can have.

Example 2:

In the hill country of Ephraim lived a man named Elkanah. He had two wives, one named Hannah and the other Peninnah. While Peninnah had children, Hannah bore no children, which saddened her greatly. But how did Hannah respond? Instead of despairing, Hannah prayed to God with carefully chosen words. When her husband saw this, he said to her, “ Hannah, why are you weeping? And why are you not eating? Why is your heart so sad? Am I not worth more to you than ten sons?” (1 Samuel 1:8). With these words, he managed to cheer up his sorrowful wife.

Example 3:

Jacob, the man of God, had two wives who were sisters. Leah had children, while Rachel had no children and envied her sister. The Apostle James writes, " For where there is envy and selfishness, there is disorder and every evil practice" (James 3:16). In this state, Rachel said to Jacob, " Give me children, or I will die!" (Genesis 30:1). These words angered Jacob, and he said to her, " Am I in the place of God, who withholds fruit from you?" (Genesis 30:2). Here we see how quickly an argument can arise from thoughtless words. We react to words, sounds, gestures, facial expressions, and much more. Therefore, it is important to speak to one another in a way that builds each other up.

Scripture tells us: “ Whoever loves purity of heart and has mercy on their lips, the king is their friend” (Proverbs 22:11). How we speak to one another depends on the state of our hearts. Jesus also speaks about this: “ For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks” (Matthew 12:34).

May God fill our hearts with goodness towards our spouses and fellow human beings. If we value our neighbor more highly than ourselves, we will be able to treat one another with humility and respect, as the Word says.

Paul Altmann
Municipality of Ulmen