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How God gives hope to a weary soul
I was born in Kazakhstan in 1976 into a non-Muslim family. Until I was about twelve years old, we lived in Tajikistan. I was raised on the streets from an early age and started smoking. My conscience, the voice of God, warned me. But I ignored that voice and continued smoking. Soon we moved to Germany.
A difficult time
In Germany, I found it difficult to integrate into society. Life in Russia had profoundly affected me, and I struggled at school. Later, I was sent to a boarding school where I began using less harmful drugs like hashish and alcohol. At home, I also started taking harder drugs like heroin. Because of my lifestyle, I could no longer attend school. Eventually, I ended up in juvenile detention.
That was where I first came into contact with the Word of God. Someone gave me a New Testament and the book "Forgive Me, Natasha." This book is about a young communist who finds faith himself through the strong faith of a young Christian woman. In prison, it's unusual for inmates to cry. Anyone who cries is considered weak. But when I read the book, I cried so much that I had to hide under the covers. I was deeply moved by the suffering of the persecuted Christians. At the time, I didn't understand it yet, but perhaps the first seed of God's Word was sown in me.
When I was released, I didn't use drugs for about six months. I thought I could manage on my own, but I started again. This time it was worse, and very soon I was back in prison. After that, I tried to complete drug therapy on my own, but I couldn't manage it and was kicked out.
The intercession of the parents
I almost died of an overdose once, but my dog barked loudly and alerted my parents. A few days later, the dog was run over. Today I understand that even this small dog was used by the living God to save my life.
My parents realized that neither I nor they, nor even drug therapy, could help me. They met some believers who advised them to contact a church community. Help would come from there. So my father went to the church and told them about his problem. He was told that if he wanted to help his son, he first had to go to God. Then he could ask Him for his son and his family, and God would show mercy.
My father naturally wanted to help me and asked how he could come to God. He was told that he had to repent, and he was immediately willing to do so. So my father converted for my sake, but this also led to his own salvation. My mother also converted. Both received water baptism and prayed for me.
Eduard and Viktoria Duttenhöfer
At life's lowest point
A very difficult time followed. My parents asked Viktor Ernst, our pastor, to pray for me. He did, but three days later I was arrested and sentenced to three and a half years in prison. I didn't understand this at all and was very angry with God. I did believe in Him, but I expected to be set free immediately after the prayer. Instead, God allowed me to be thrown into prison. But that was precisely my salvation, because it was there that I encountered God.
The prison administration intended to rehabilitate me. I had to spend most of my time in solitary confinement. But this method of rehabilitation didn't work very well. I continued to take as many drugs as possible. Such an addiction can lead to a person's death. Looking back, I see that hell begins right here on earth if you don't have God in your life—I experienced hell on earth. I couldn't wait for time to pass. I was constantly searching for drugs. And then I was sitting all alone in isolation; I was only allowed to go out into the yard separately from everyone else.
When I was locked in my cell again, I stood there reflecting on my life. In that moment, my entire life flashed before my eyes like a film. I realized that since I was 15, there hadn't been a single day when I'd seen any meaning in life. Shocked, I realized that my whole life had been nothing but chaos. My life had drifted by joylessly; it was meaningless and empty.
Then I remembered my childhood, when I was about six years old. Back then, I dreamed of having a good job and a family with children. And now, at 29, here I was, half my life gone. I had achieved nothing but addiction and the oppressive prison life. It was all too much. At that moment, I had no future and saw no point in continuing to live if nothing changed.
And then, deep inside, there in my cell, I cried out to God. I prayed that if He, the living God my parents and my brother Viktor had told me about, truly existed, then He should help me. I couldn't and wouldn't go on living like that any longer. At first, nothing changed. But then I felt an unfamiliar urge to read the Bible. I asked the guards for a Bible and began with the first book of Moses. At first, it was barely understandable, but I had plenty of time in isolation, so I read day and night. At night, I read until the early morning, then went out for exercise in the yard, slept a little, and then continued reading.
Today I understand that this urge within me was God's work. This longing for the Word was not natural, but the result of the intercession of the church and my parents.
After two months, I came to the Book of Isaiah. Here I received my first personal revelation from God. He spoke to me in spirit; it was like an epiphany. Until then, I had read the Bible like a historical book, which remained closed to me. But when I received the revelation, it was as if a light dawned on me. I realized that the Bible in my hands was the absolutely true word of God.
Then I understood what a treasure I held in my hands. Suddenly I saw that there was still hope for me and that my life could still change. I wanted to learn everything about this God written about in the Bible. For me, this was a great joy. I continued reading, and God began to reveal himself to me through the Bible.
A special encounter
Finally, through His goodness and grace, He visited me in prison. One night, as usual, I turned to Jesus in prayer. I asked Him that a revival might take place within me so that I could understand God more fully.
Suddenly I felt God's presence. All at once I remembered the bad deeds of my childhood. I was ashamed before Jesus and repeatedly asked Him for forgiveness until I felt an overwhelming joy. I understood that I was forgiven; I felt so good! It was as if birds were singing inside me. Then, memories of my sins came again and again. I asked for forgiveness once more and felt God's warmth. This continued all night.
The time came when God revealed to me, through His Word, the baptism of the Holy Spirit. I prayed for it for two months in prison, and God baptized me. It was a wonderful experience because my hardness of heart was lifted away. The next morning, I met the guards and was ready to embrace them. I was filled with such love that I no longer saw them as the guards I had previously blamed for my misfortune. Now I saw that they needed Jesus and wanted only to tell them about Him. This great transformation came through the Holy Spirit.
A new life in Christ
After my release, I went to a rehabilitation center in Ukraine and completed Christian therapy after three months. I volunteered there for another three months, then returned to Germany. In 2008, I was water baptized and eventually married.
Today I am a happily married man with seven healthy children, which is no small feat after such a drug addiction. It is all thanks to the glory of God. My situation seemed hopeless, but today I have a future. I lived in depression; now I rejoice in God's presence. I used to be unable to even go to work; now I take responsibility for my entire family.
God appointed me as a servant and youth leader in our church, and I can testify again and again: I am so grateful to Jesus for saving me. To Him be the glory.
Jasmin Izoita
Municipality of Irslingen