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The Holy Scriptures repeatedly highlight an important theme that has faded into the background nowadays and is rarely discussed. But first, let's examine two factors crucial to this topic: wisdom and understanding.
The Apostle Paul writes in his letter to Timothy: “Consider the things I say; and the Lord will give you all understanding!” (2 Tim 2:7).
“But wicked people and impostors will go on worse and worse, deceiving and being deceived. But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, knowing from whom you learned it and having known the Holy Scriptures from childhood. These Scriptures are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus” (2 Timothy 3:13-15). The ultimate goal of all this work is explained in the following verse: “That the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work” (2 Timothy 3:17).
Let us now reflect on the particular need for wisdom and understanding for ourselves and our children in our time. In the book of the prophet Hosea it is written: “Who is wise enough to understand this, and discerned enough to comprehend it? For the ways of the Lord are right, and the righteous walk in them, but the transgressors stumble in them” (Hosea 14:10).
Wisdom and understanding are given to man to recognize the principles of God, which are described in the Holy Scriptures, and to apply them in our earthly life.
“The Lord looks down from heaven on the children of mankind to see if there is anyone who understands, anyone who seeks God” (Psalm 14:2). How important it is for us to understand God! For God, people who understand Him—His commandments, His laws, His thoughts, His plans, His motives, and His desires—are essential. To understand God means to do what He wants. He allows us to participate in His works on this earth and desires that we share in His glory and His kingdom in eternity.
The book of Exodus tells of “all the men who had a wise heart, in whom the LORD had put wisdom and understanding, so that they would know how to do all the works for the service of the sanctuary, they did according to all that the LORD had commanded” (Exodus 36:1).
To do something according to the Lord's commandment does not mean to act according to traditions, customary patterns, personal ideas or someone's wishes, but as God wants.
“The Lord looks down from heaven on the children of mankind to see if there is anyone who understands, anyone who seeks God” (Ps 14:2).
In his letter to the Colossians, Paul prayed that the church might be filled “with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding” (Col 1:9).
Colossians 2:2 speaks of the richness of certainty in understanding. This means thinking biblically. Spirituality, therefore, consists of being of the same mind as God.
In Isaiah 1:3, God laments that His people do not know Him and do not understand His festivals. The people's offerings were no longer a joy to Him; rather, they were repugnant to Him. Israel was God's chosen people and had received from Him the festivals, commandments, and regulations for sacrifices and worship. But it did not please God when people did not perform them as He intended. In conclusion, we have emphasized the importance of wisdom and understanding. These are necessary to understand God and to act as He desires.
Now let's look at the actual topic:
“For God has commanded, ‘Honor your father and your mother,’ and , ‘Anyone who curses their father or mother shall surely be put to death’” (Mt 15:4).
Jesus emphasizes this statement and leads people back to God's commandment: Honor your father and mother. What does honor actually mean? Honor is a deep, inner appreciation. To honor – to respect – to esteem. We live in a world where children are granted many rights and parents many responsibilities. Children who receive many rights but no upbringing cannot honor their parents. The enemy has descended upon the family like never before. Father, mother, and children – this is something God created and blessed.
Honor your father and mother! Honor is a deep inner appreciation.
God has given His principles for how continuity is ensured. Even in Jesus' time, the opinion spread that father and mother did not need to be honored: "But you say, 'If anyone says to his father or mother, "I have dedicated to you what was to come from me," he no longer needs to honor his father or his mother'" (Matthew 15:5).
Our Lord Jesus Christ contradicted this opinion: “Listen and understand!” (Mt 15:10). It is not about understanding human interpretation, but what God intended, namely: Honor father and mother.
The question arises whether every father and mother must be honored. Or is this only about parents who, in our opinion, are good, whom I like, or who listen to me and do everything I want?
No, the Word of God teaches us that we do not choose our parents, but accept and honor them. Honoring them is an inner process; it is the state of the soul; it is something God pays attention to and rewards accordingly: "that it may go well with you and that you may live long on the earth" (Ephesians 6:3).
Let us look at the examples in Holy Scripture that tell us the opposite:
Once, Noah was drunk on wine and lay naked in his tent. His youngest son saw this and told his brothers. When the father found out, he was deeply hurt. Just a few words from the father were enough to enslave Ham's descendants for millennia. His brothers, on the other hand, received blessings. This shows us what happens when honor is lacking.
There were also problems in the families of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Samuel, David...
Reuben, Jacob's son, dared to disrespect his father, and once again the result was tragic. As the firstborn, he was entitled to a double inheritance, but things turned out differently, just as his father had predicted.
Absalom had committed an attack on his father's honor, and the consequences were swift. He was left suspended between heaven and earth, where his life ended in humiliation.
God gave the commandment and a promise. Christ never questioned the commandment; rather, he spoke of it in a binding manner. It is evident that he loved those who honored their parents.
So why should parents actually be honored? On this earth, there are no reasons for children not to honor their parents. Even if children see special reasons for doing so, we find no exception in Scripture. People can honor their fathers and mothers, or not, depending on what their parents have given them. God said that we will prosper in fulfilling this commandment. Not everything we possess is necessarily good. Once, an acquaintance visited his friend in the USA and observed his wealth. A large, modern house, expensive cars in the garage, comfortable furnishings. The guest remarked that all of this must be a great blessing. However, the owner replied, "I don't know if it's a blessing or a curse." He has to work 16 hours a day, 6 days a week, to afford it all. But if good things come from God, then you will truly prosper.
Several other Bible passages confirm the seriousness of the commandment to honor one's parents:
- “A son shall honor his father, and a servant his master!” (Malachi 1:6).
- “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord!” (Colossians 3:20).
Again, we see in the following verses that the progressive demonization of society strongly opposes this commandment:
- “For people will love themselves, [...] disobedient to their parents, [...] having the outward appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Turn away from such people!” (2 Timothy 3:2-5).
- “For the son despises the father” (Micah 7:6).
- “For behold, the days are coming when they will say, ‘Blessed are the barren, and the wombs that never bore, and the breasts that never nursed!’” (Luke 23:29).
It is clear from this that we are living in the last days. The problem of fathers and children has always existed, but wisdom and understanding are needed to resolve it properly. God gives advice on this through the prophet Malachi: “He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers” (Malachi 3:24).
Let's consider another example: God sends Jeremiah to the house of the Rechabites to invite them into the house of God and offer them wine. They refuse because their father commanded them not to drink wine and to abstain from certain other things. They obeyed their father in everything, and God valued this highly and made them an example for many. He promised them:
“There shall never be a man before me, Jonadab son of Rechab!” (Jeremiah 35:19).
It is worthwhile to consider how or where dishonor arises:
- The problem of the Fall of Man: man is born as a rebel.
- Lack of education. God taught Israel: “And you shall teach your children, talking about them when you sit in your house, and when you walk along the road, when you lie down, and when you rise up” (Deuteronomy 11:19).
- Lack of fear of God
- Lack of interaction between children and parents
- Unresolved conflicts
- The modern, secular influence / modern, secular education
There may be many other factors that could give the impression that one does not need to honor one's parents.
Once, a man came to Christ and asked what he should do to have eternal life. Christ did not say, “Give a tenth, and it will be enough,” as one might hear in some Christian circles today. Instead, Jesus asked him if he knew the commandments. These included honoring one's father and mother. Only when the young man confirmed this did Jesus say, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to the poor” (Matthew 19:21).
From this we see how Jesus taught. People exchanged God's commandments for traditions, thinking that everything would be alright. But one cannot be exchanged for the other. God's commandment comes first. This wasn't about blessing or prosperity, but about eternal life. Asaph says in Psalm 73: “Whom have I in heaven besides you? On earth I desire nothing besides you; for the presence of God is precious to me” (Psalm 73:25, 28).
To draw near to God, we must keep His commandments.
Christ Himself left us an example when He was subservient to His parents (cf. Luke 2:51). Jesus said that He honors His Father (cf. John 8:49) and does His will. The problem lay in the fact that people didn't want to know what God's will was and instead created rule after rule. In his letter to the Philippians, Paul wrote about Jesus Christ, saying that He humbled Himself and became obedient "even to death, even death on a cross" (Philippians 2:8). He could not refuse the cup that His Father gave Him.
God allows us to participate in His works on this earth and wants us to share in His glory and His kingdom in eternity.
This is indeed the greatest example of honoring the Father in human history. Jesus had His own will, but He cared about the Father's will: "For I came down from heaven, not to do my own will, but the will of him who sent me" (John 6:38). Humility, obedience, and submission are truly an affirmation of honor.
Honoring is an inner process; it is the state of the soul; it is something that God pays attention to and rewards accordingly.
Let us consider the life of Jesus once more. He was the expression of the very nature of God, Creator of all that is visible and invisible. But He was prepared for everything His Father offered Him: suffering, humiliation, disgrace, beatings, curses, death. Let us draw a parallel to how we can honor our parents for what they offer us.
Recently, a brother told me about an incident that occurred at a members' meeting. The pastor admonished a brother who was living a lifestyle unworthy of a member of the congregation. Following this, his son was given the opportunity to testify against his father and accuse him before the members. The son's brazen accusations outraged many members. Surely there were other ways to discuss his father's failings than before the assembled congregation.
He then spoke about his personal experiences with his parents: “My father doesn’t believe in God and is entangled in many sins and addictions. I didn’t have a happy childhood, but I have never said anything negative about my father to anyone. I honor him and God’s commandments. I could list many things he did wrong; but I honor him for being my father, for bringing me into this world, and for me being his descendant. Yes, I pray for him and wait for his conversion, but I won’t hold anything against him.” He continued: “I have had a family for many years, my own business, I experience much good, and I know why. Deep down in my soul, I honor my parents and keep the commandment to honor them.”
Many more biblical and everyday examples could be cited, but ultimately, what matters is understanding and fulfilling God's commandments. Let's look further at the following verse: "Anyone who curses their father or mother shall surely be put to death" (Matthew 15:4). This is about a judgment of God's law. God told Adam that he would die if he ate the forbidden fruit. Physically, Adam continued to live after eating the forbidden fruit.
Honoring one's father and mother / cursing one's father and mother – is it possible to find a middle ground here? I think not. A lack of respect for one's parents cannot be expressed neutrally. Christ said: "Whoever does not gather with me scatters" (Matthew 12:30).
If we don't honor our parents, what do we do? First, we allow thoughts to enter our minds, then a word, and finally, we begin to speak negatively about them. Our words may be true for our parents, but the Word of God does not permit it. Then death comes, and the person's fellowship with God is stifled.
On this earth, there is no reason for children not to honor their parents. Humility, obedience, and submission are signs of honor.
We can baptize such a person in water and entrust him with a service, but it is dangerous because he is breaking God's commandment.
In the book of the prophet Ezekiel, God explains to the people of Israel why Jerusalem is destroyed. A second cause for the catastrophe is given as follows: “Your father and mother have been despised” (Ezekiel 22:7). In Hebrew, this word means: to make insignificant, to neglect.
Therefore, I want to address everyone who considers themselves a child of God. Do we see this commandment as God intended, or have we found another, easier alternative? This is a serious question. Many wonder why the younger generation today lacks vitality and finds so much difficult. Yes, my dear friends, without the Spirit of God, it is indeed difficult. The Word teaches us, however, that God's commandments are not difficult, but only for those who are spiritual. For those who lead a carnal life, God's commandments are an unbearable burden. That is why it is often so difficult.
Through wisdom and understanding, we recognize principles in God's word that we should apply in our earthly life.
Even in our day, this commandment deserves worthy consideration. Its fulfillment brings forth good. Lord, grant us wisdom and understanding to comprehend and fulfill God's principles, as it says in Revelation: "Blessed are those who keep his commandments, so that they may have the right to the tree of life and may enter the city by the gates" (Revelation 22:14).
Nikolai Pischnjuk
Municipality of Bruchmühlbach